Relationship Thoughts

You give too little, you give too much...When is enough enough? I've had it!!! Never appreciated, love rarely reciprocated, and when it is, it's from the wrong person. What they're used to is those hood rat chicks...who complain ALL of the time, no goal setting, spend ALL of your money, get pregnant just so she can continue spending ALL of YOUR money, sleep around and catch the cooties then bring it home to you. So when you finally get someone who respects you, wants to treat you right, listen to your thoughts and aspirations, and even has some of her own, loves you, cares for you, says it and shows it, and is willing to stand by your side...you treat her like shit! You ignore her, yell at her for no reason, talk down to her, threaten her, accuse her of wrong doings all the while it's you whose doing wrong, and then have the nerve to be pissed when she leaves your tired ass?!? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!

This time around I decided I was going to take Pastor's advice and ask God for what I wanted in a man, and in a relationship. I got what I asked God for...He is what I prayed for. What happened you might ask...I forgot to be specific!!! Damn!!! The one time I try to do something right, I forgot to add in the MAJOR details. I half assed it, so this is what I get. That'll learn me!! All of the above is not a reflection of him or our relationship, but some is. Being in a relationship is like having a freaking second job. And, it only works when both of you are committed to working at it...and for it. Why waste each others time? My birthday is right around the corner, and it seems like the older you get, the less bullshit you tend to tolerate. I'm still going through it, still not feeling happy, still checking for him, still giving all of me. But, who's gonna check for me? Who's gonna make this birthday one to remember, vs. me staying in the bed and sleeping the day away? Who's gonna make me smile on this day? If he can't, then what exactly is his purpose?