I'm Not An Advocate, But I Now Understand

I understand eating disorders and the need to be thin that models have...to a certain extent. Again, I state, I am not an advocate, but I have a more clear understanding as of today.

I am a former model. Most of my work was in runway when I was younger. Now, with all of the free time I have, I am getting back into modeling, but more of the behind the scenes work. There are different types of modeling, and my purpose isn't to have my face plastered all around the world, although it would be nice. My purpose is to do a job that I enjoy, in an industry that I love, and have a very flexible schedule with excellent pay. All of this comes with a price!!

Tomorrow I have an interview, with a reputable clothing company in NYC, for a fit modeling position. The job basically entails about 6 hours of work/wk, at a rate of $50+/hr, and all I have to do is try on their clothes and have them take measurements. I'll be trying on clothes for a living...I can soooo do that!

The issue is that EVERYTHING is based upon my measurements. I have to come as close to being exactly the required measurements as I can. I measured myself before I applied for the position and sent them the information. They want me to come in so they can retake my measurements for themselves. I'm paranoid, so I've been measuring myself almost EVERY hour of the day.

This is Holy Week, so I'm fasting. One meal a day, and only drinking water. Then, I notice that my measurements are fluctuating. :-0 So, I make what I think is a rational decision. I am going to get rid of the extra stomach pork by taking laxatives. Well, I know that wasn't the best choice, but I need to lose about one more inch around my tummy.

I REALLY WANT THIS JOB...PRAY FOR ME!!!!